Long Time No Post

Hello Everyone!

Yes, it has been a long time since I have posted anything. It seems this BLOG has a mixed bag of emotions for me as well as OTHERS. Some might say that I post to many personal items and yet others have seen another side and have more respect for me. I think all three of us from the show have been launched on three different journeys. Each have clearly chosen different paths. I, myself have chosen to no longer bury myself in self denial. I will not bury myself with WORK, with FOOD, with SEX or with anything else that will cloud my mind with anything other then what I need to accomplish. So if that means this BLOG is to personal then so be it

Here is what I have learned so far. "It is not about the weight. It is not about the goal. It is not being thin or being someone special or getting there. Those are fantasies in your mind - and they are in the future, a future that never comes. Because when your goals are reached, they will be reached in the 'right now.' And in the 'right now' you will still be you, doing the same things you do now. You will stand up, walk around, get root canals, open the refrigerator door, sleep, feel happy, feel devastated, feel lonely, get old and die.

But it not NOT about the weight because if you using FOOD as a drug, if you keep distracting yourself by creating a weight problem, then you need to attend to your weight in order to stand up, walk around, open doors, sleep, feel happy, feel devastated, feel loved, get old and die - with any degree of attention, whole heartiness, presence. If you keep slapping another problem on top of the freshness of life itself, all you see is what you have slapped on it. You cannot ignore a problem because it is one you have manufactured."

If you do not take the time to fix you and address what is really wrong and figure out WHY you are using FOOD as a substitute. NOTHING and I mean NOTHING will work to fix YOU! It doesn't matter how thin you get - and you will get thin for a while. You will gain the weight back and you will not be happy. I am choosing to do both at the same time. Get happy and get thin. If it takes me longer then the rest so be it....but I will be happy with ME and my body when I get there.

Meet me there........